The Gottman Relationship Adviser
The Gottman Institute, Practical articles, the "Small Things Often" podcast, and relationship quizzes rooted in decades of research. Recommended Reading:The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work by John Gottman and Nan Silver.
Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT)
The Philosophy: Rooted deeply in adult attachment theory. EFT recognizes that relationship distress isn’t just about bad communication, it’s an alarm system ringing because a vital emotional bond feels threatened. Partners often get trapped in a "protest-and-withdraw" dance. EFT maps this cycle out, helping couples move from reactive anger or icy silence into raw, vulnerable requests for safety, reassurance, and closeness.
Essential Free Resource:
Psychwire / Dr. Sue Johnson’s EFT Worksheets: Free digital downloads and conversation guides based on the definitive text Hold Me Tight, mapping out a couple's specific "Negative Cycle".
Recommended Reading:
Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love by Dr. Sue Johnson.
Secure Love: Create a Relationship That Lasts a Lifetime by Julie Menanno.
Acceptance & Commitment Therapy (ACT) for Couples
The Philosophy: ACT focuses on cultivating psychological flexibility within love. Instead of wasting massive amounts of energy trying to change or fix your partner’s flaws (or fighting your own uncomfortable feelings), ACT teaches you how to step out of the mental "struggle switch". It encourages both partners to clarify their core individual and relationship values, dropping painful defensiveness to take collective action that honors the bond.
Essential Free Resource:
Dr. Russ Harris’s 'ACT with Love' Extra Bits: An incredible index of completely free, printable PDFs including the Relationship Values Checklist, Dropping Anchor grounding guides, and Creating Connection Rituals worksheets.
Recommended Reading:
ACT with Love: Stop Struggling, Reconcile Differences, and Strengthen Your Relationship with Acceptance and Commitment Therapy by Dr. Russ Harris.
Internal Family Systems (IFS) for Couples
The Philosophy: IFS views each individual as an inner ecosystem composed of different "parts" led by a core, compassionate Self. In couples, we often see "Part-to-Part" conflicts, where one partner’s defensive, protective part (like a loud, critical manager or a numbed-out, avoidant firefighter) triggers a wounded part in the other partner. By practicing Intimacy from the Inside Out (IFIO), partners learn how to speak for their parts rather than from them, completely shifting the dynamic from external blame to joint internal healing.
Essential Free Resource:
The IFS Institute / Intimacy from the Inside Out Framework: Access to manuals, guides, and practical skills exercises designed specifically to help couples cultivate self-awareness and self-compassion together.
Recommended Reading:
You Are the One You've Been Waiting For: Bringing Courage and Compassion to Intimate Relationships by Dr. Richard Schwartz.
Intimacy from the Inside Out: Courage and Compassion in Couple Therapy by Toni Herbine-Blank.
Affirming & Diverse Relationship Spaces
Traditional relationship advice is frequently built around rigid, heteronormative frameworks. At Maitri, we actively expand our practice to honor the unique dynamics of LGBTQ+ and consensually non-monogamous relationship networks.
LGBTQ+ & Same-Sex Couples
Queer couples navigate specific structural realities, from processing internalized minority stress to dynamically negotiating gender roles within a partnership. Therapy focuses on unlearning societal shame, protecting the bond from external invalidation, and fostering genuine queer joy.
Essential Free Resource:
Dr. Kiki Fehling's LGBTQ+ Resource Hub: Free downloadable worksheets focusing on building community, handling stigma, and managing shame using an identity-affirming DBT framework.
Recommended Reading:
The Gay Couples Therapy Workbook: Proven Strategies to Support and Strengthen Your Relationship by Tom Bruett, LMFT.
The Velvet Rage: Overcoming the Pain of Growing Up Gay in a Straight Man's World by Dr. Alan Downs.
Sexual Intimacy for Women: A Guide for Same-Sex Couples by Dr. Cory Silverberg and Dr. Marilyn Corwin.
Polyamory & Ethical Non-Monogamy (ENM)
Managing a multi-partner relationship system requires explicit, highly intentional communication. Instead of relying on implicit cultural assumptions, polyamorous couples must proactively map out boundaries, balance Compersion (joy in a partner's other connections) against New Relationship Energy (NRE), and dismantle internal jealousy.
Essential Free Resource:
Fierce Waterfall / Martha Kauppi’s Relationship Concept Worksheets: A downloadable clinical toolkit packed with printable reflection pages to help individuals and partners unpack their beliefs about fidelity, autonomy, and relationship agreements safely.
Recommended Reading:
The Ethical Slut: A Practical Guide to Polyamory, Open Relationships, and Other Freedoms by Dossie Easton and Janet Hardy.
Polysecure: Attachment, Trauma and Consensual Non-Monogamy by Jessica Fern.
The Polyamory Workbook: Actionable Exercises to Cultivate Intentional Relationships by Sara Peck.